Cut Those Apron Strings Without any Blood

Being a mom is one of the best feelings in the world; from the time your home pregnancy test shows that your child is on the way, you begin experiencing feelings of tenderness and love for the scrap of life that’s growing within you. And nine months later, even though you scream and shout for the pain to go away, you can’t help but cry tears of joy when a tiny bundle is placed in your arms. Yes, motherhood is a blessing indeed from God to womankind.

You’re a good mother, and so you monitor every aspect of your child’s upbringing – they have to have the best food, the cleanest home, good schools, efficient teachers, loving friends, toys to die for, and a great environment at home and in the outside world. You strive to give your child the best in life, oftentimes sacrificing your comfort and happiness to do so. And you watch proudly as your baby grows up and becomes a confident teenager and then adult.

But somewhere along the way, you seem to have moved from being much-loved-mom to oh-it’s-you-mom. And you cannot understand the change; after all, haven’t you been treating your offspring exactly the same all through these years? Ah, but that’s exactly the problem – your child’s needs and temperament change as he/she grows older, and the trouble starts when you still treat them like children. There is a time to loosen the apron strings, and a time to cut them off; and if you don’t make the cut when the right time comes, your child is bound to have them cut off forcibly at a much later stage, with a whole lot of emotional bleeding involved.

Parents have multiple roles to play in their lifetime; each act comes on stage during each stage in your child’s life. And if you’re a good parent, you’ll know when it’s time to move from one act to another. Otherwise, if you keep interfering in every aspect of your child’s life even when they’re grown up, if you insist on micro-managing their lives even though they’re capable adults, if you feel you must offer your advice and opinion even when they’re not solicited (and then sulk when it’s not followed or heeded), then you’re in danger of losing the emotional bond you share with your child.

I’m lucky enough to have a dad who is my rock of Gibraltar when I’m floundering without direction, who has the wisdom to guide without being pushy, who understands why even when I’ve done something I shouldn’t do without sitting in judgment, and who calls to offer support when there’s a problem without being too intrusive about the nature of the problem. Life becomes so much easier when you have parents who are your friends. After all, kids have enough on their plates to contend with as they’re growing up without having to deal with over-protective and zealous parents who are not fully grown-up themselves.

Besides, your kids learn to think for themselves and take the right decisions only when they’re left to their own devices rather than being spoon-fed all the time. Yes, they may go wrong now and then, and they may make mistakes, but it’s the learning process that counts towards becoming a stronger adult.

So learn to relinquish control when your children start to seek their independence, and earn your reward when your kids turn out to be mature, well-rounded and successful adults.